You Are Valid

Sharing my work on line is one of the most rewarding things in my life.  Not only because the actual selling of my work supports me and my children, but the act of connecting with people through my work can be so powerful, and sometimes, can even change my life.

Last week I received a note from a woman who saw my two self-portraits, "Unleashed" and  "Draw Forth".  She explained...

"I am going through a rather complicated breakup and these speak to me. Both the calm resignation in 'Draw Forth' and the hurt and rage in 'Unleashed'. Seeing these emotions external to myself has helped to put some things in perspective"

"Draw Forth"

"Unleashed"

This note meant so much to me.  Just a couple weeks ago, I was having a discussion with a fellow artist about what I was currently working on, and we started talking about work with a Message - social, personal, political, etc.  And he asked why I wasn't creating more work with a personal story.

My only explanation at the time was that for so long now, my thoughts and feeling rarely seem validated, and/or understood by some of the people in my life.  NOT ALL - just some.  But sometimes they are the people who have the biggest impact on my self-worth.

I don't want to get into specifics either, because I think there is a way to learn and share without throwing people "under the bus" so to speak.  It felt like there was a pattern in my life for so long, that if I wasn't comfortable in a situation or how something was going, I was told "well other people have it worse so don't complain", or if I changed my mind on something I was WRONG to change my mind. Or worse...wrong to have an opinion in the first place.

Changing your mind, wanting something more out of a relationship, having thoughts and opinions that might differ from someone else, these are all VALID.  Valid things to go through in your day to day life.  If you are surrounded by people who challenge those feelings, belittle them, or cut you out of your life because of them, that is THEIR short-coming, not yours.

So what do you do in this kind of situation?  First of all, you become a better listener, which I am thankful to say that I am.  Because, truly, that is what I want sometimes, too - to be really listened to. Not have my feelings dismissed or belittled or challenged.  So that is the first thing I am going to put out there into the universe - my willingness to listen to my friend's, children's, and loved one's feelings, and always let them know that they are valid.

Secondly, I need to listen to myself.  I need to stop letting someone who is bigger than me or who is stronger than me or who makes more money than me or who is simply louder than me (which is not many people) decide which of my feelings are "right" or "wrong".

So let's get back to my point:  this woman's note really meant something to me, because she saw a message in my work, interpreted it for herself, and learned from it.  I don't know if there is a higher compliment that I can receive as an artist, or a human being.  I am so thankful for that.  I am emboldened by her sentiment and finding a lot of personal strength because of it.  I'm inspired to re-examine pieces that I have abandoned or never even started because I had become afraid of expressing my thoughts and feelings.

THANK YOU to every one of you who follows my work because you relate to it, enjoy it, feel something when you look at it - even if it's just joy! - which is a valid response to art!  Thank You for listening.

Charcoal Sketches from the Live Model

I know I haven't been posting a lot of my art lately.  It's not for a lack of productivity.  I have been drawing and painting quite a bit.  But my mind, when not actually holding a brush, has been elsewhere.  I am very concerned about my son's diet, in fact the diet of my whole family.  I am incredibly depressed to see how much junk food children are allowed to eat in the classroom every day, and what a huge negative impact it can have on them mentally and physically.

SEE?! There I go again!  I'm here to show some drawings and back I go to ranting about the junk food!

So... FOCUS! Here are a couple recent black and white drawings from the live model.

This is the very beginning of the charcoal portrait below.  I find it helpful to block in the largest areas of light and shadow first - getting proportion and a sense of the light source before getting caught up in the tiny details.

I think this was just about an hour of drawing.  I used vine charcoal and then switched to charcoal pencil. 

This drawing is built up mainly from charcoal lines, similar to cross hatching techniques.  This was partly due to the paper.  I think this is a Canson drawing pad, and I find that I can't "smudge" as much as some other drawing papers.  It doesn't erase as cleanly, either, which kind of forces me to get it "right" in fewer strokes.

This figure drawing in charcoal was done in 30 minutes from the live model. I love compact poses like this, especially in short periods of time.  Strong lighting, a good pose, you can get a lot accomplished in a short time period if you look at the big picture - the largest areas of light and shadow first - and then work in to the details.