Wednesday, August 4, 2010

What I've learned from my parent's 37-year marriage

Just this past Sunday DH and I celebrated our 11 year Anniversary.  Not so much celebrated as acknowledged.  I mean, we did say "Happy Anniversary" to each other, and there was some touching...but you don't need to know about that.

So here I am, all proud of us.  We made it to 11 years! Yeah! Aren't we great!  We can still stand to be in the same room, we talk, we laugh, we hardly ever throw things at each other any more.  Aren't we special.

Well, today is my parent's 37th Wedding Anniversary.  Kinda puts my 11-year happy dance to shame! 37 years.  And they are still young! Well ,to ME anyway.  So...what IS the secret to marriage longevity? How can DH and I hope to achieve the same number of happy - or, tolerable, at best - years together?

1.  The first secret to a long marriage that I remember my mother sharing with me - send your spouse on a week vacation every year.  With out you.  I'm sure my dad's annual all-guy fishing trips pretty much assured us 6 kids that their marriage was right on track.

2.  Get each other coffee.  Don't let one person serve the other all of the time.  This is just bad form.  Take turns making each other breakfast or grabbing cold drinks from the fridge.  Even if your spouse can't cook, they probably can scoop you a bowl of ice cream.   And don't forget the "Thank you".  Very important.

3.  Be sure you have a bottle of peach schnapps, or your drink of choice, handy.  Because when your spouse is snoring in the middle of the night, and believe me, every spouse snores, you're gonna need something to put you back to sleep.

4.  Embrace each other's family.  Even the ones you don't like. 

I'm sure there is more...

I remember my parents being individuals - not just being parents.  Having jobs, having friends, having a life.  For kids, I think that's important.  Even if we didn't realize it when we were very young, it was good for us to see them laugh and have good friends around.  To see them support their loved ones and engage with other adults.  While we probably would LOVE it for their whole world to revolve around us and our every desire, it was more important that we see ourselves, and them, as individuals. 

Happy Anniversary, mom and dad.  Wishing you many many more!


AmyC ~ said...

'hardly ever throw things at each other any more'...LOL!

Congrats on 11 yrs! Hubs and I celebrated our 11 yrs Jan2...

The 1 piece of advice my mom gave me (even tho she an dad divorced after 21 yrs, but I have a theory on that) is: Don't go to bed agree.

AmyC ~ said...

an might I add a BIG Congrats to your folks!

Caroline Peña Bray said...

This is spot on and it's so great to be reminded of these things from time to time. Congratulations to both you and your spouse, and your parents, on long and happy marriages. Here's to any more happy years to come!

Krystyna81 said...

AMy C...your Freudian slip made me laugh "Don't go to bed agree"


Thank you for the congrats, ladies!

Anita said...

Yep, I reckon your parents are spot on with their advice/example. And don't dismiss the achievement of making it to 11 years of marriage. Many have fallen way before that milestone. You must be doing plenty of things right. Congrats to both couples.

Beth Howard said...

I think that is wonderful advice! And belated happy anniversary :)

Vienna Laurendi Haak said...

thank you for sparing us the touching sequences however that line did make me LOL: )

Krystyna81 said... read my blog! Thanks, V :)

(now what the hell are you talking about?!?)