The Most Influential Woman of the Decade (as decided by Me at my kitchen table)

Hey, it could be worse.  I could have made the decision in my bathroom.  But the real truth is I made the decision on naming this person The Most Influential Woman of the Decade in my most sacred place...in my studio, in front of my easel.

Way back in 2009 (holy cow why does it feel like yesterday and a lifetime ago all at once?!?) I wrote my first brief blog post about Heather and her blog.  A couple years later, Heather wrote a post about a portrait that I sent - unsolicited - to her of her daughter.

When Heather, aka Dooce, shared that watercolor portrait on her blog...it was...not an exaggeration...life changing.

You see, the actual act of creating that portrait and sending it out to Heather went against the grain of every thing in my life at that point.  I was not in a situation that nurtured chance, risk, or anything out of the Perfect Picture of Domestic Life that was The Goal.

It was profane, almost.  Like that sexy novel hidden among the self help books on my nightstand. I sent the portrait to Heather in secret.  I didn't tell anyone I was doing it.  I was ashamed at my inner voice, telling me to Paint it, and Send it.  It was - truly - the first time in a long time that I didn't care what my close circle would say - I only cared about what my heart told me to do.

And Heather could not have been more generous with her kindness, and her platform.  By sharing that portrait on her blog, she introduced thousands of people to my work, and many became patrons, and for that I am truly grateful.  It set my business on a course that allowed me to nurture myself as an artist, and nurture my children because I was in a good place as well.

Over the years, we collaborated on a few other pieces, and I was inspired by many of her photographs which led to a series of some of my all time favorite portraits.

Divorce happened, in her life and in mine, and I cannot imagine what it was like for Heather to share that with her audience on her blog.  I very rarely talk about mine - even though I would like to share more -  because I cannot talk about the impetus for change and growth without talking about the catalyst for it.  And, like other conscientious parents out there, I am aware that my children will always be half of me, and half of their dad, and if I insult or disparage either one of us, I'm hurting them as well. 

But I will say this...when I was pretty much at the bottom, when I thought nothing good was coming down the pipe again...I heard from Heather.

Heather reached out to me in the sweetest way, wanting to create something special to honor the Cowboy (you can read her own words about him here).

What Heather doesn't know, is that she saw me, she sought me out, when I felt the most lost, forgotten, and invisible.

I was at a point when I felt like Damaged Goods.  I had been battling false police reports, lies to DFCS, having my children removed based on false statements made by a person I removed from my life YEARS before because I knew she was Toxic...holy cow.  I was Unseen.  Unloved.  Unwanted...by the people I spent my whole life trying to please with every fiber of my being.

But in the midst of this...Heather reached out.  She not only hired me to create - she shared it again with her Tribe.

She believed in me, and shouted it from her keyboard.

Do you have any idea what that means to someone?

Do you have any idea how life affirming that was?

Do you have any idea how powerful she is...to remind me that I am Worthy of praise.  That what I do matters.  That I made a positive impact on her life.

And this past December, she reached out to me again, for another covert operation: capturing the children of the Cowboy, for his birthday.

Heather has faith in people.  She believes they are capable.  She believes in their minds, their creativity, their decision making process.  She has never micro-managed me as an artist, but has always responded with enthusiasm for the choices I have made on my canvas.

That is rare.  I know...I've worked with thousands of wonderful clients.  And this amount of Trust has only appeared a few times.

Heather has a belief, and a trust, in me that is incredibly precious to me.

The portraits that I created of two of her boyfriend's children are two of my all time favorites.  They were done in a limited palette, a very timeless almost sepia-toned range of browns with a touch of black.  Based on Heather's photos, they were casual, sweet, and done with a great deal of Love.

And I will never show you.

But I will tell you...Heather hired me to create these beautiful pieces right before the Holiday.  She paid me a deposit immediately.  And that deposit helped me have one of the best Christmas Holidays I have had with my family in years.  We're not talking a huge amount...but the amount I needed to buy a few gifts without using my credit card and feed my family and spend the quality time with them we all deserved.  It was the first time I had both of my kids for Christmas in four years.  And Heather helped make it amazing.

I wrote this on my blog way back in 2012...

As a writer, Heather puts herself out there, in front of millions of people every day.  Without shying away from the harsh realities in her life, she shares her joy and sorrow with her fans and followers.  Her bravery is inspiring.  As an Artist, I hope I am following that lead, and sharing a bit of myself with every drawing or painting I share with you.  We both know that not everything will be rewarded, but more often criticized, and yet we are compelled to do it anyway.

I went through the harshest period of my life a couple years ago.  I was afraid to even leave my house for a while.  I was silenced.  I was erased from my son's life for a period of time.  I was eliminated by family members.

But throughout all of that, I discovered what true Kindness is.  I discovered how special it was to be lifted up by another.  I realized how powerful it is to be Seen.  To be Heard.  To be Trusted.

As I stood in front of my easel on the last day of 2019, working on two of my favorite portraits of all time, I realized that Heather has meant more to me these last ten years than most people will ever know.  While her love life is reduced to internet fodder and her medical issues are another reason for small minded people to Judge What They Do Not Understand, I was one of the lucky ones behind the scenes, being Seen.  Being Heard.  Being Trusted.

At a time when I felt silenced in more ways than one, Heather shined a light on my strengths and my potential, and she helped me find my way back to my Voice.

I wanted to write this today to acknowledge Heather, her impact on me, my self-worth, and how by doing so she has helped me as a Mom, a partner to my own Cowboy, and as an Artist.  In a world where sometimes the easiest thing to do is ignore our own pain by tearing another person down...I wanted more than ever to lift someone up.

I Love you, Heather.  And Thank You.

"You Shall Be Heard"

Generosity Can Be Contageous

This is what happens when a popular blogger like Heather Armstrong (aka Dooce) inspires peoples with her actions and her words...

Heather traveled to Bangladesh with the groundbreaking charity Every Mother Counts, she came home and share her stories and photos on her blog, I was inspired to create some paintings based on her work, I posted an auction on a fantastic site, Daily Paintworks, to benefit the charity, and now the entire Daily Paintworks community is joining in to build the auction into something even BIGGER!

I am so excited that the DPW community will be adding their amazing work to the Challenge - inspired by the theme "Mom" - with all proceeds going towards Every Mother Counts, either directly to their team that is participating in the NYC Marathon or to the charity.

And where does the money go? To tangible, concrete projects that truly work like training midwives, building health centers, and donating medical supplies.  

What can YOU do?

I encourage you to start by visiting the Every Mother Counts education page ("Toolkits") - watch a couple of the movies, see what needs there are.  It only takes a few moments, and you will see that change can and should happen.

If you are an artist - paint!  Think "Mom" - paint from your favorite photo, set up a still life with her favorite colors, ask her to sit for a portrait!  (Don't stop there - you can also donate any painting you'd like!) Sign up to add your painting to the auction.

If you are an art lover - BID!  These are amazing paintings for an amazing cause.  I guarantee good warm fuzzies and general feelings of happiness whenever you gaze upon your original work of art!

If you are reading this - SHARE! Chose a few of your favorite paintings and click the "LIKE" button to post it on Facebook, tweet this post, post your favorite paintings in the auction to Pinterest - whatever!  By sharing the auction you are becoming part of an amazing team, and we appreciate it so much :)

***A quick note about my paintings...I had an technical issue with my auction duration when I listed the paintings, and now that is fixed! So they will be available until October 25th instead of October 20th.   Thank you!***

Happy Painting!

Bidding Has Begun!

I am so excited to report that bidding has begun on the Bangladesh Series inspired by Heather Armstrong!  You can view all of the paintings in the auction in my Daily Paintworks Gallery.  This project has been so special to me and I am so moved by the actions and motivations of the Charity, Every Mother Counts.  So bid if you can! And if you can't...I humbly ask you to link, share, tweet, post, and spread the word!  Thank you :)

Dooce's Favorites. Painting number five

The first paragraph of Heather's blog entry describes, in a very potent way, the differences in the voices between the older generation and the younger women in Bangladesh.

I wanted to illustrate the "silence of the young girls and the brilliant, almost piercing voices of older women who have been empowered".  

So...what does a brilliant, older voice look like? I think this woman embodied that description.  And how about the silent young mothers? This beautiful new mom.

At first I was going to just use the print from the older woman's fabric behind the girl in blue, but that wasn't exactly what I was looking for - the different voices of the young and old.

So I scaled down the young woman and places the older woman behind her.  The way they over-lapped built a strong shape in the middle, leaving a lot of negative space on the sides.  To address this empty space, I spent a lot of time looking at figurative work by Gustav Klimt, trying to figure out how to use pattern effectively.

Starting to block in color and pattern.

I filled in areas with various patterns, activating the entire surface.

The black block was something that Klimt had used in many of his pieces, and I tried to use that shape here, to break up the space behind the figures and along both sides.

The painting was feeling too dark - and masculine.  I wanted their to be a sense of feminine energy - I painted over the dark green sides and the grey block behind her head on the left with shades of yellow.  I also changed the shapes of the patterns - instead of a row of rectangles, I wanted them to feel more like drapery.

The yellows helped, but the black block was still too heavy.  I tried to address it in two ways - I layered a kidney-shaped brown pattern over the black area, then softened the corners.

Closer...but the black, finally, had to go.  I chose an intense red-orange to cover the black and changed to a rounded form.

"You Shall Be Heard".  It's practically shouting from the the older woman to the young mother.  This painting celebrates the colors, patterns, and personalities of the Women of Bangladesh.

This painting will be auctioned to benefit team Every Mother Counts, participating in the New York City Marathon on November 6th.

Click here to bid.

Dooce's Favorites. Painting number four

As I continue to share the paintings from the Bangladesh series, I return frequently to the sites that have inspired this work - of course, Heather's posts on Dooce, where this began for me, and also to the education page on Every Mother Counts.  If you have a few moments, watch the videos and read the fact sheets about Global Maternal Health.  The video about Obstetric Fistula and how it can effect a woman's entire world will move you.

One of the pictures that Heather took on her travels that really grabbed me was a line up of women waiting for health care at an Upazila Hospital.  (That is a photo from the Bangladesh Album on Every Mother Counts' facebook page)

I loved everything about this photo.  The variety of fabric, the patterns of light, the children being held by their mothers (the bare bottoms are too cute!)

The first day that I sat down to start this piece I painted for 6 hours straight.  By the time I put down my brush I could barely move my hand!  I did however manage to take several progress shots, and I have put them together in a short video.

I wanted to use the white squares of their paperwork as a design element that connected one end of the painting to the other - a visual connect-the-dots.  

Each woman has a distinct personality, along with her unique dress.  With the fabric and their profiles being so defined, I decided not to add the features to their faces.  They were already Beautiful.

This painting will be auctioned on-line starting October 10th to benefit Team Every Mother Counts participating in the New York City Marathon on November 6th.

Click Here to Bid!

Dooce's Favorites. Painting number three

Sometimes I come across a photograph that would barely needs any adjustments if I were to translate it into a painting.  This was one of those photographs.

Heather captured a young woman, in the most glorious yellow and red outfit, posed in a doorway.  She was tentatively looking into the darkness behind her.  The sunlight seemed to want to drag her outside, yet she was being pulled back into the dark space inside.  A woman of an older generation appears in the background, slightly out of focus, entering a back doorway, perhaps catching the young woman off guard.

Heather didn't just frame a stunning picture of a beautiful young woman, she captured a dialogue between young and old.  She captured a relationship that could be interpreted in a million different ways by a million different viewers.

I painted with oil on a 12" x 24" birch panel that I primed with a clear gesso, allowing the grain of the wood to show thru.

I started with a pretty dark palette of prussian blue and alizarin crimson, blocking in the largest shapes.  Then I added the bright light coming thru the back door in a shade of light turquoise and grey.  

I was pretty excited about the fabric in this piece, especially the red satin.  A rich red requires several layers of paint and glaze to develop a truly saturated red.  I actually started the red area in more of a fuschia tone, which would then be covered by a warmer red alizarin glaze for the perfect final color.

I continued to block in the shapes of the yellow fabric and her skin tone.  These two colors needed to work well together.  I didn't want her skin to appear washed out, which is difficult next to such a saturated color.  However, if I went too far with the color of her skin, maybe too orange or red, it would appear more like make-up than skin color.

Adjustments are made at every step.  Colors are fixed.  Edges are shifted.

The look in her eyes was so important.  You make look at her once and see fear, but look again and see defiance.  

The fabric folds and patterns took the most time.  I don't mind telling you I took several breaks to check Facebook when my eyes started to glaze over...

This painting will be part of an on-line auction starting on October 10th to benefit Team Every Mother Counts, participating in the New York City Marathon on November 6th.

Click here to bid!

Dooce's Favorites. Painting number two

As Heather Armstrong shared her remarkable experiences in Bangladesh, she spoke about a time when she was sitting among a group of men and women, learning more about the concerns for the pregnant women of the village.  


"Two men in the group had lost their wives to childbirth. Another man had lost his son.  When we asked what had inspired them to organize this group one man spoke up and our translator said, "Two years ago they
learned that women did not have to die when giving birth. Before then, they did not know there were options."


What would have my husband done had I died during childbirth? Or our son? Or daughter?

So I wanted to create at least one painting focused on the men, of all ages, who could be effected by the loss of a mother.  There were stunning photos of babies, teens, and elders, and I brought them all together in a layered mixed media piece.

This is charcoal on watercolor board.  I blocked in the shapes with vine charcoal then started defining the features with charcoal pencil.   I chose to put two of the faces upside down, as a way to activate all the space and create an interesting flow among the faces.  It's also a little off balance...is that what I felt when I thought what the men go thru when a woman dies in childbirth? A loss of balance?

I slowly added some color with washes of watercolor.

I liked it at this stage, but it felt unfinished.  

Then the color got a little too intense!  So I had to tone it down a little.  I added a thin later of modeling paste, then re-defined some lines with charcoal pencil, and added another layer of glaze to unify the colors.

The eyes on every face were so expressive and had totally different characteristics.  I kept trying to add the second eye to the sweet child in the middle, but every time I did, it made the face seem older, and too engaging.   There was something that worked about the simple negative shape in the middle of the circle of men.

I was a little worried that this piece might feel too "quiet" among the colorful oil paintings of the women, but during an open studio event, when the paintings were on display, several people walked right across the room, as if drawn in my their faces.  It has an incredible presence.

This painting will be part of an on-line auction starting October 10th to benefit Team Every Mother Counts participating in the New York City Marathon on November 6th.

Click here to bid!

Dooce's Favorites. Painting number one

There are two different attitudes that usually manifest themselves as I begin a new painting or series of paintings.  'Total Excitement' or 'Confidence Crushing Fear'.  This painting brought out a little bit of both!  As the first painting  in the series of Dooce's Favorites from her travels to Bangladesh with the charity Every Mother Counts, I knew that this painting was going to set the tone for the whole group.

I loved this photo as soon as I saw it - the expressions on the children's faces, the pattern of their clothing, the gestures of their hands.  I started with a loose sketch in oil on a panel, 24" x 36".

From the beginning i knew I wanted the focus to be on the tallest girl of the three.  I wanted a lot of layers, transparent under opaque, dark under light, lots of focus on pattern and texture.

This layer is a little spooky...transparent glazes and a bit of color on top.

I think this is when I realize I made the arm of the tallest girl too short.  I was really upset, because I loved the color and the shape, but it was in the wrong place!  But painting in oil is very forgiving, because every layer adds texture and interest, so I painted it over...

Experimenting with background color...would a cool blue work? Does it need more detail?

Warmer background, but now there was SO much going on in the painting, I was losing the focus on the face of the tallest girl - should I block out the other two faces to balance it out?

Sticking with the plan to fill in the background, I inserted a little girl from a different photo, thinking she would address the negative space along the left.  It didn't work...everything was feeling too pieced together and not cohesive.

After talking it thru with a couple of my fellow artists, I added the faces back onto the two other girls.  Now, they felt like they belonged together.

I toned down the blues, going back to my initial plan of utilizing an earthy palette.  I still wasn't sure about the girl on the left, and...painted her over...

...and now it's done!  

These three girls have unique personalities, and the whole time I painted I was thinking about their Potential, how their future might somehow be written on their face.  How would the little girl on the right be served by her defiance and self confidence?  How would the young lady in the middle turn her level-headed temper and ability to empathise with those around  her into her biggest asset?  How would the pretty one on the left force you to see past her beauty, and realize that she has ideas to change the world?  

This painting will be auctioned on-line starting October 10th with net proceeds benefiting Team Every Mother Counts , participating in the New York City Marathon on November 6th.

Click here to bid!

Dooce's Favorites. The Story behind the Bangladesh Series.

Earlier this year, I was beyond thrilled when Heather Armstrong featured a portrait I created of her daughter, Leta, on her blog.  Following that beautiful post, I was overwhelmed by the kindness, enthusiasm, and support that came forth from her amazing community and beyond.  I have been lucky enough to create dozens of beautiful portraits for clients all around the world who were introduced to my work thru Heather.  It's been incredibly satisfying, challenging, joyful! to be creating custom portraits for clients who were inspired by Leta's painting.

A couple of months ago, Heather shared her experiences when she traveled to Bangladesh with the Charity Every Mother Counts.   The stories she shared were emotional and compelling, accompanied as always by her  illustrious photos.

(Detail, Painting One)

As I read the stories and learned more about the charity, I couldn't help but be completely enamored by the beautiful faces of the men, women and children she met on her trip.  As a portrait artist, I am always looking at people's faces - watching how the light reacts to their skin tone, noticing how their eyebrows frame their face, taking note of how they tend to tilt their head when they talk, what Presence they have.   The subjects of Heather's photos were beautiful, not only for their engaging eyes and sculpted lips, but the honest emotional content in every nuance of their expressions.

Could I ever, as a portrait artist, rise to a level where I can capture all those beautiful things that Heather captured in her photos - the light, the context, the story, the emotions - in a painting?  I spent many restless nights running those photos thru my head, dreaming of ways to translate her photos into paintings.

(Detail, Painting two)

After a week of tossing and turning, I knew I had to try to paint these portraits.  But - Why?  Just to see if I can? It had to be bigger than that.  So I contacted Heather and proposed an idea: "Heather, you did so much for me, my family, and my business this year...Could I create a series of portraits based on some of your favorite photos from Bangladesh, and then we can auction the series of paintings on-line, with all of the proceeds going to the charity Every Mother Counts?"

Then I held my breath...

And Heather said "YES!!!"

So I pored thru her Bangladesh photos on Flickr and watched her video about a hundred times, coming up with a list of about 15 photos that kept stopping me again and again.   When Heather finalized the list, "Dooce's Favorites" were ready to be painted.

(Detail, Painting three)

I began the first painting on August 3rd, and just finished the fifth painting over this past weekend.  In those two months, I have spent hundreds of hours in front of my easel, trying to do justice to my subjects, while considering the fact that an amazing woman has trusted me with her personal experiences, and believes in me to create something - mind blowing? spiritual? moving? pretty? - to the best of my ability!

So here we are - the five paintings are done, and I can't wait to share them with you.  The plan is to introduce a painting each day this week, and then start the auction on-line Monday October 10th. The auction will run for ten days, and all of the money raised (minus the auction site fees) will be going to Team Every Mother Counts ,  participating in the New York City Marathon on November 6th.

(Detail, painting four)

I don't know if these painting will inspire you the way they have inspired me, but I hope they do, and I hope you consider donating to the charity, even if you don't bid in the auction.  I couldn't get on a plane to see these strong-willed, able bodied, positive, and hard-working men, women and children in person, and I am so grateful that Heather DID go, and brought their story to my attention.  It made me realize and appreciate how lucky I was before, during, and after my two pregnancies.

(Detail, Painting five)

Every Mother Counts.  I want to count.  Women around the world want to count.  Their Children want to count.  Their husbands want them to count.  This auction could be small, it could be huge - who knows?  EVERY LITTLE BIT COUNTS, when it comes from the sense that You are part of Something Bigger.

Click here to bid!